Day 275/1

Goals by February 29, 2012:

$15,000 (or better) saved

Slimmed down, fit & flexible (numbers & other reductions in vagueness to come as I math things out)

First draft of novel (finally) complete

Brain/mind sharpened back to optimum levels - no more cloudiness, sludginess. Math may not be available for this one, but I'll recognize the progress when I see it

Develop and/or commit to more specific goals as the days tick down & the shape of things emerges (I have some things in mind, but I need to see what the pace of progress of the more general goals is first)

No, this isn't turning into a diary of my 'leap' to the East Coast, but every so often I may pop in with a progress report.

 

Thanks for indulging me :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leap

That muffled splashy gaspy sound was my head breaking the surface, my lungs vacuuming oxygen, kelp getting squitched & splucked off my face & ears. It was forced, this surfacing. I've been sludging around in murk for long enough that I'd slowed & sunk. I'm gonna rot here if I don't move. So: treading, aiming to segue to a nice side stroke.

You'd either laugh or cry watching me try to contstruct a program or plan to stick with, of any kind, by myself. This thing that seems like it should be natural and easy for any human with two intact frontal lobes is wildly difficult for me. This flaw has been well-examined, & some time if you guys are super bored & I'm feeling incredibly self-absorbed, I'll go into that (or not probably). Discouragement & the blues compound this problem, & I usually do my best to shake these things off. Like a boss. *Rolls eyes* Anyway.

I need to move on, I need dry land, and it needs to be on the East Coast of these United States. I shelved my eons-long dream of heading to New York when the economy tanked and I came home to Seattle (from Los Angeles, where I'd been working as a tour guide) to regroup. Regrouping has been excruciatingly slow going. I mean...wow, glacial. This is not necessarily all bad in all ways, but my patience in leaving NY on that shelf has run the fuck out. Enough with the fantasizing. It's back in my hands, front and center. I need it there to get me going. I need the hope.

The date: February 29, 2012.

I don't know exactly how I'm gonna do this. It's not like I'm making enough money, and I owe my kid a visit first (he lives in Mexico City). But I have seen plenty of Disney movies, damnit, and I am going to do it. I've seen apparently hopeless situations do a 180. I've watched people triumph over their tangled psychology and two-bit odds. Yeah, I'm kind of a hard case, but I've still got some good old fashioned American determination in my veins. I will make this long-standing dream come true.

Yeah, I don't quite believe what I just said there yet. I'll get there. 

NEW YORK OR BUST <-enough with the bust 2/29/2012