mission: portfolio

At the behest of @HarlemWriter, I am putting together a writer's portfolio.  I have made a number of big mistakes in my thinking about my path as a writer, but they are all predicated on not taking it seriously enough in practice; i.e., it's still a path and not yet a career.  I've haven't yet found an agent, for example; I never think I have enough material, in good enough order or edited well enough yet, to present to an agent.  And I've never put together a portfolio, because...Okay full disclosure: as a non-journalist, I never thought of such a thing.

But I want to go to New York, and I want to be writing for my living. When I told this to @HarlemWriter, he said, "Let's see about finding you a benefactor to get you to NYC...".  My eyeballs popped outta my head. You mean, someone who doesn't even know me?  See, A) I'm not big on asking for practical help. Just moral support, really. I like to make my own way. B) I don't know anyone with lots of money, period - let alone someone I'd ask to help me financially. And C) I'd only have ever thought of asking for help as a person, not as a writer (see 'number one [mistake]', above). But @HarlemWriter, in mentioning benefactors & asking whether I had a portfolio, made me realize that perhaps I could ask someone I don't know - if only I had a easy-to-peruse folder of samples.  A patron who would be willing and happy to help a promising artist in her efforts to pave a path into a career. So: A portfolio, then.

I do have completed works. I have two short stories, a couple good articles, a shitload of essays, even some random pieces of poetry.  So, I've been looking through my old blog for the essays/articles (how I discern which is which I'll maybe get in to some other time), and while reading some of these, I went: "Holy crap! I'm pretty good at this!"  Out loud.  As if I perhaps expected my coffee mug to reply, "Why yes, Catherine, yes you are - although you could use some serious help with editing and snappiness."



Here's one of those blog posts from days of yore. I don't believe it's something I'd include in a proper portfolio (it's just a personal rant), but it made me smile:

Here is what I think about parents: Parents suck.  You know why the end of the world is nigh?  It’s not the economy.  It’s not stranded Polar Bears, Facebook, 35 year olds using Botox or even the sudden mysterious disappearance of Lemon Burst Eclipse chewing gum within a couple weeks of my falling in love with it.  No, no, what it is, is IMPOLITE CHILDREN.

Curses, impolite children!

Here is the problem.  It is very, very simple.  Tens of thousands of people are failing to teach good manners to their children.  From what I gather, those parents probably never really learned them, either.  Not well, not properly.  Maybe they got a few vague admonitions to “behave!”, but had to figure stuff out from there.  No specific rules.  I have some news for you, stupid parents of any generation: human interaction is governed by rules.  Don’t abandon your hapless child to suss them out inadequately on his or her own!  Part and parcel of your very job is helping them learn life's rules.

You teach your child, for example, that when he or she is addressed by an adult, he or she must at the very least acknowledge that adult.  No, I am not expecting “Oh, how do you do, Ms. Thatch! My name is So-&So, and I pleased to make your most charming acquaintance!”.  Hell, I am not even asking for a “You’re welcome” in response to my thanking him or her.  What I’m asking for is some form of positive acknowledgment: nod, a smile, for the kid to at least look at my face - eyes, preferably - with some sort of recognition that I am speaking, when I am addressing him.  Or her, damnit.  Yes, I realize some kids are shy, I realize I’m a “stranger” (I’ll go into common sense regarding context of interaction some other time), so I don’t feel right in expecting the open graciousness of a child from another era (or from any other civilized country in this era).  But acknowledgment! Of some kind! Something!! Come ON!

If this were just one or two kids here and there, I’d tsk tsk and shake my head and forget about it.  But this is rampant, it’s a syndrome.  No, it’s an epidemic! Parents: When you wonder angrily why people are shooting dagger-eyes at you & then surreptitiously indicating your beloved little heathens, please resist getting immediately defensive. We are not the enemy; we are the powerless offended. Please look carefully at your child's behavior, please look at your own behavior, AND FIX IT, DAMNIT. kthx.

So, back to perusing. I'm transferring what I like into a Wordpress template that (I think) makes a good portfolio.  It will not be public for a few days, but when it is, I'll link it here in case you're interested.  In the meantime, I'd like to ask those of you who are writers if you have any other ideas, even just brainstorms? It seems I need to be taken out of my old thought habits and given some fresh ones. I need to get my ass to NYC, and I need to be writing for my living. Pls 2 halp kthx :D